Your Top Notch Guide On How To Not Get Petrified By Pigeons..

 

Goodness, how I wish there was a book like that!

I bet all those close to me(who are very much aware of my pigeon phobia) would have read that title and thought, “Yes, she really needs one!”

Its alright if you think that’s rather stupid….it actually is!  But it all started out when I was quite young. It happened first when I was in fourth grade and I was walking through this rather musty alley way between two buildings. I happened to see this small white cat. She was cute and adorable only until I saw what was in her mouth……pigeon feathers and blood. Ew.

I was obviously traumatized. But dear God, it didn’t end there!

My friend once joked that every time a pigeon senses that his end is near..he flies directly in front of me and dies. I don’t even know why that happens. At least once every month, I see a dead pigeon. Worst part is..they’re EVERYWHERE! Where I stay, you walk down the street, you’ll see them making those annoying noises, bobbing their heads to and fro on top of buildings and lamp posts.

I was in third grade when this pigeon flapped its way into my classroom.Every kid was obviously jumping and screeching for the birdie. I had a very weird classmate who never spoke, only slept…and ate. He didn’t speak to us because he didn’t know what to say (probably) and we had never spoken to him because we were afraid. He wasnt a bully or anything…just really weird if you ask me. So getting back, the pigeon landed on the table and you would gag if you found out what Mr. Absurd did to him!

I had forgotten to tell you that it was early in the morning and classes hadn’t yet begun. There was just Mr. Absurd and a few others including me. That beautiful morning, we witnessed our weird classmate turn deadly. Yes, I am going to explain no further…make your own guesses!

I obviously hated him after that..but so did everyone else.

I have so many other stories like that! And something even I don’t understand is, why is it that even though the poor pigeon is the victim every time, I’m still afraid of well…the pigeon? It’s not logical you may think. But then neither is the fact that I shudder and jump on the person nearest to me every time I see even an alive pigeon. I have even seen a man forcing his pigeons to wear heavy jewellery so that they wouldn’t be able to fly away…the world is insane.

There is nothing much I can do about this really, but I wish I could. To all the pigeons out there, I hope that you rest in peace.

Adios 🙂

PS Do you have a phobia for something? What is it?

 

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4 thoughts on “Your Top Notch Guide On How To Not Get Petrified By Pigeons..

  1. I hate spiders. Their legs are insanely freakish!!
    And their eyes! Ugh, all those ugly black eyes arranged in rows.
    I really do believe they didn’t originate on this planet.

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